her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
