Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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