New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
