And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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