I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
