You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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