oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
