...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
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i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
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But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
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