suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
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Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We need a shit load of segways right now
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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