I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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