have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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