Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
