Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
