But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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