no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Randomize
