I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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