john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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