I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
