I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
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He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
All the doctor said was why
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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