Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
