Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she peed on how many people?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
