i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
