he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
