im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
