We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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