Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize