My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
