Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
