Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
