Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
