Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
