xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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