I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
