I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
