I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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