Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
