No stitches, just platelets and will power
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
