oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
