The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
