I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
