My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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