i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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