A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Boobs speak an international language.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
