So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
