I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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