Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize