just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
