Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
