is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Hippo gnu deer
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
