i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize