The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
