so that wasnt chicken after all
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
