the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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