THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
