after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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