I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
