Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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