everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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