Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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