IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
